I hate IKEA
by Drass'ir Wyrda
Summary: It's Blake's birthday, and Yang refuses to let that fact go unnoticed. Blake x Yang. (Bumblebee)


**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this one, everybody! The last piece I wrote I decided against releasing as it was not up to my (honestly pretty low) standards. As a result, I had to take some extra time to write this instead. Perhaps I'll upload the other story if I don't feel particularly up to writing, but today is not that day! As always, I encourage you all to leave positive/negative reviews telling me what you think, and please enjoy!**

* * *

It really figures that I would be the one to get stuck in this position. And on my birthday, to boot. Blake, the stoic hero, Blake, the great warrior, thwarted by a web of planks and a few damn screws. I sighed dejectedly as I once again referred to the small fold-up pamphlet to my left. Well, I say small, but perhaps it would be more accurate to say something along the lines of… oh, I don't know, "Bloody massive". Yeah, I think that suits it much better. Today was going to be a long day after all, it seemed…

* * *

As quick as I was to dismiss my own birthday, hardly seeing it as an event to celebrate a great deal, Yang was not quite so keen to the idea. I was not expecting any sort of gift, nor did I really desire one, to be entirely frank. However, Yang's enthusiasm remains unmatched in all regards, and so it is on my birthday that I awake to the smiling face of Yang and the smell of mildly burnt pancakes.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Yang flashed me a grin as wide as the Pacific Ocean before whipping round, returning to the kitchen from which she presumably caused the vaguely charcoal-esque smell that was assailing my nostrils. I fought the urge to close my eyes and return to my sleep; It was saturday, after all. I had never been one to waste a day off, and today was no exception. I groggily slid up from my prone position and leaned my back lazily against the headboard of my not-as-stable-as-I-would-like bunk bed which Yang and I shared. Blinking sleep out of my eyes, I sluggishly remembered what day it was. Not that it made a huge difference. As I said, I have never made, and have no intention to begin making, a big deal over something as meaningless as a birth date. I started to drag my unresponsive body out of bed when I was suddenly halted by a certain blonde beauty.

"Ah, ah, ah! You're not going anywhere until you've had breakfast." She crossed her arms, her hip jutting out as I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"And how, pray tell, am I supposed to do that if I can't even leave my bed?" Yang smiled at that, giving me a look I knew all too well.

"Just you wait and see, my sexy little kitty companion!" She gave me a wink and proceeded to make her way back to the kitchen, sashaying her hips joyfully all the while. I sighed once more, submitting to defeat, content to just lay in bed and await whatever it is Yang was planning, though at that point I had a vague idea. I wiped a strand of my wildly unkempt hair out of my face as I called across our small little dorm room.

"You don't have to do anything, you know." Yang showed no signs of hearing me, aside from a distinctively sweet and deceptively innocent reply.

"Who said I did anything?"

"Considering you see any and all holidays to be cause for a massive, all out and all-together overly extravagant party I can only assume you're going to try and capitalize on today too." Yang turned a dial on the front of the stove and tilted her weathered and unpainted frying pan towards a nearby plate. Whatever came next was obscured by her body as she moved into my line of sight.

"Well, I've gotta have fun somehow, right? Besides, what's wrong with a little partying every once in a while?" Her hair drifted behind her as she briskly walked over to my bedside, placing into my lap a large plate heaped with midsized, overcooked hotcakes. Still, it was a genuine effort on her part- she could never cook. I appreciated the gesture, even if her food was… less than exemplary. I once again looked up at her smiling face.

"Thanks for the food, but… theres no way in hell I can eat that many pancakes." I half expected her to deflate slightly, but staying true to her usual self she simply widened her smile.

"Well then, I guess that means I get breakfast too, eh?"

"Didn't you eat already?" I find it hard to believe she would make me food before feeding herself.

"Well, yeah, but as they say in the shire, 'What about second breakfast?'" She took a seat beside my bed as I began to consume the blackened food provided to me, ignoring the general burn-y taste that filled my mouth as I ate. I managed to swallow a few of the pancakes before replying to her.

"Seriously? You're quoting _The Lord of The Rings_ now too? How do you even remember so many movie quotes?"

"Years of practice, my friend." She flashed another bright smile at me as I resumed my devouration of her cooking. Or, at least, I tried to. I had never been able to eat much, and so after only two of the nearly fifteen that she had prepared, I was utterly stuffed.

"Ehh, sorry Yang, but I just can't eat anymore." She visibly deflated.

"What, you don't like them?" My eyes widened in panic as she gazed at the floor with a depressed look plastered across her face.

"What?! No, no, of course not! I just can't eat a lot, that's all! Really, they're good, I just can only eat so much, you know?" Yang lifted her head as a measure of the previous light returned to her eyes.

" Well, in that case i'll finish them if you can't!" She quickly snatched the plate away from me and began to ravenously consume the pancakes. She only got through a few bites before she turned her head, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I thought you said they didn't taste bad?"

* * *

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?" I sighed once more as I sat on my bed, now fully clothed in my usual attire. Even after I made it through Yang's over-energetic breakfast she still insisted I wear a blindfold while she "went and did some stuff", as she put it. I absentmindedly yawned, stretching my arms behind me as I awaited whatever it is Yang had prepared next. I was hoping against a gift, as I really, really don't need other people buying stuff for me. I mean sure, I had gotten birthday presents before, little things and such. But knowing Yang, and reviewing previous experiences she's had with birthdays, (Don't ask about Ruby's.) she would probably get me _sixty _little things if she had the chance. I returned my arms to their resting position on my lap as I heard a door I had not realized had opened slam shut from across the room. There was a large _thunk, _and a _whoosh _as a weight dropped onto the bed beside me.

"Alright, take it off!" Even with the blindfold I could sense her uncontainable excitement. Nevertheless, I tore the blindfold from my face carefully, and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. No floor littered with little boxes, no excess of celebratory ribbons or anything of that nature. Indeed, the only difference from before I put on the blindfold and after was a single, albeit somewhat large, gift-wrapped box.

"You know, Yang, you really didn't have to get me anything." I turned towards the rambunctious blonde beside me as she stuck her tongue out at me defiantly.

"Oh, don't give me that! _Everyone _loves to get stuff on their birthday, even my introverted little kitty cat. Now, go and open it! I picked it just for you." I briefly considered opening my mouth to argue, but seeing as it was pointless to argue with an excited Yang, I resigned myself and moved to open the gift. The wrapping job was far from professional, small corners popping out at various points all over the box, and strips of tape covered virtually every inch. Still, it didn't matter that it wasn't wrapped well. The very fact that Yang had went out and got me something, even if it was wrapped poorly, meant a lot to me. Perhaps gifts on birthdays weren't so unreasonable. I mean, if it makes Yang happy, who am I to stop her? I've never really approved of birthday gifts, but I suppose it's more about what giving the gift means than the actual gift itself. I slowly began to tear the wrapping paper off of the large box, the plethora of tape strips that adorned it screeching in protest.

* * *

I sat there in awe of what lay before me, still unable to believe what I saw.

"So, do you like it?" I heard Yang's nervous voice peep up from behind me. I had not said a word to her since I opened the gift. There was a groan from my mattress as Yang picked herself up and made her way to where I was, taking a seat beside me one more time. "I mean, it's not great, but I think-" She was cut off as I suddenly threw my arms around shoulder, leaning into her and laughing.

"I love it, Yang!" I drew back, looking Yang in the eye as a small smile returned to her face.

"I'm glad you do." I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and resumed hugging her, relishing the feel of her body against mine. Perhaps I was slightly introverted, and maybe I didn't make many friends, but I was okay with that. At least, no matter what happened, I had Yang with me. For some reason I couldn't quite figure out, nobody quite knew me like Yang..

"Although," I heard Yang say tentatively, "you do have to assemble it yourself." I turned my head to peer at the box Yang had given me.

"I think I can manage." I said with a smile. "How hard could it be?"

* * *

"Wait, so does this piece go in between, or is it the roof bit?" Yang confusedly squinted at the instructions.

"I don't know! You're the one who got the stupid thing, you should know how to build it!" We were both sitting cross-legged on the floor of the room, gathered around a half constructed monstrosity. The bookshelf seemed easy enough to put together. All you had to do, it seemed, was wedge a couple planks in between some others and put the screws in. Or so we thought.

_Oh, how little we knew. _I inwardly cursed myself for not giving this shelf more thought prior to beginning to build it. We had been sitting here on the floor, attempting in vain to build this IKEA bookshelf from hell for a solid hour and a half. All we had to show for our efforts was the main skeleton of it, very poorly put together, and the back plank screwed in place. Altogether, the shelf was a pretty sad sight.

"Wait a minute… how many screws do we have?" I turned my head and inspected the small glass that was currently acting as screw-bucket. I counted four smaller screws, and a single long one.

I relayed my report to Yang, in response to which she simply let out another frustrated moan.

"They didn't give us enough screws!"

"That still doesn't explain why we can't put the stupid thing together."

"Well yeah, but it doesn't matter now because now we'll have to send it back so they can give us the ones we're missing! We have to take it apart now!" My jaw fell like a guillotine, causing an audible _whoosh_ as it traveled. I numbly let my body slump limply into Yang's steadily warming side, breathing heavily into her shoulder as I attempted to contain my rising anger.

"I friggin' hate IKEA."

* * *

**Author's Note: What'd ya think? Methinks I might put up something a little different from my usual works as my next upload, so be warned… As usual, and I don't care if you're getting tired of my asking(I do please don't be mad at me please please please), leave a review with your thoughts/opinions. I am always trying to improve my writing and this is made many times easier by receiving feedback! I hoped you liked the story, au revoir!**


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